The Feeling of a Scar
by Spotofpaint
Summary: Toph is the only member of the team that has never seen Zuko's scar. In fact, she didn't even know he had one until it came up in conversation. But now that the sensitive subject has been breached, Zuko feels it's only right that Toph understands what they're up against concerning The Fire Lord. And the only way to do that with someone who's blind...is to let her touch his face.


((Just some quick context: This is a mere section from a larger story I'm writing with someone. For the sake of knowing where the characters are and when this starts, I wanted to explain the setting. Aang and the group are at the Western Air Temple. This takes place only a few days after Zuko joins the team.

In a previous scene, Toph discovers through conversation around the camp fire that Zuko's face is scarred. Not being able to see it, she assumes it's like a small gash above his eye or perhaps on his cheek. She proceeds to make jokes, seriously wounding Zuko's feelings. True to his nature, Zuko blows up at her verbally telling her off, and then marches off into the temple to be alone.

While Zuko's cooling off, Sokka takes the time to explain the entire truth of the situation to Toph. Toph of course feels terrible and goes back into the temple in search of Zuko. After finding him this is the scene that unfolds.))

Toph crossed her arms in front of her chest, "But speaking of which, I actually came back here for a different reason." She turned then, facing the general direction in which she had heard Zuko's voice come from earlier.

"I wanted to apologize, Zuko. After Sokka explained everything to me, I realize how my question could have sounded really bad. I had no idea you had a scar. And really…even learning about it doesn't mean much to me. It's something I can never see and certainly doesn't change my opinion of you. Hell, you could all be lying to me and I'd never know it." She shrugged. "The only reason it's important at all is because of how it makes _you_ feel. And I heard how upsetting my question was to you when you got up and left. So…sorry and stuff."

Zuko was quiet for a long moment. Talking about his scar at all was never something he liked. But he recognized then that because Toph just now discovered it, she at least deserved to be in the same loop as everyone else.

"Sokka explained everything to you? How I got it? What it looks like?"

"Yeah. More or less. I still have no idea what it "looks" like," and she actually did air quotes. "And as I said, I hardly care. What difference does it make to me?"

But even though she said such things, Zuko could tell that she felt a little left out. Although he was still brand new to the group, he imagined that Toph missed a lot of moments that all the others had together: like sunsets and meteor showers, or breathtaking views from on top Appa. His scar, although certainly not breathtaking or beautiful, was another thing of visual importance that she couldn't see.

And…there was a second reason it seemed important: although Zuko didn't really understand why, he felt it was essential that Toph "see" his scar. As much as he hated his mark, it had been with him since he was thirteen years old. And with the huge changes it caused in his life and the decisions it'd forced him to make and all the things it made him endure; it had become a huge part of who he was. Toph not being able to "see" it…made it seem as if she couldn't understand a part of him.

Zuko was trying to get closer to all the people in the Avatar's group. He wanted to befriend them all. And he didn't know if that was possible if they couldn't understand him. And so, making a sudden decision, one that immediately frightened him, he stood up. He closed the distance between himself and the earthbender, putting himself before her. Then, his heart having already picked up pace a bit, he said,

"You should feel it."

Toph's eyes widened.

"What?"

"You should feel it," Zuko repeated. "It's a big part of who I am, whether I like it or not. And I feel like…it's…it's a good reminder for everyone to understand why it's so important we defeat The Fire Lord. Everyone else looks at it every time they look at me. But you…you don't get that reminder. You should have it too."

Toph's blind eyes were large as they stared through Zuko's shoulders since she was so much shorter than Zuko and that's where her eyes rested. For a long awkward second she was quiet. But then, slowly, she nodded.

"Ok." She started to lift her hands, and Zuko automatically flinched. He'd never let _anyone_ do such a thing before. And as sensitive as he was about the subject, no one had ever dared. But with Toph, the situation was much different than it would have been had she had her eyesight. All the same, touch was a frightening thing for Zuko since it had quite obviously been used to hurt him in the past.

"Wait…" he suddenly said. And Toph did, stopping her hands in midair. Knowing Toph couldn't see his face, he knew he'd have to explain at least a little. "I'm just a little nervous…" he said honestly. Zuko, having broken out into a light sweat, took just a second to breathe. Inhaling, he faced Toph once more. Then slowly, he released his breath.

"Ok," he said quietly. "Just…be careful."

At first, Toph was puzzled by the request. It was a scar. What was the need to be careful? Surely it no longer hurt. But after only a second of contemplating it, she thought she understood: it may not hurt now…but it had. And Toph didn't know exactly how long it took burns to heal. But if it was as bad as Sokka described, than Zuko had gotten used to his face throbbing and burning for months on end. So maybe at this point…it was just something that was always in the back of his mind.

Carefully, as requested, she lifted both of her hands. At first, she misjudged Zuko's height, and her fingers brushed his chin. He flinched again out of instinct, and this time, Toph was aware of it. But then, Toph tried a second time, and this time touched her fingers of each hand onto each side of Zuko's face.

Immediately, before she even started exploring, she felt the difference. One side was smooth, and soft, like anyone's skin, but the other…the other side felt very unnatural. Toph, well disciplined, didn't let her shock show. With all Sokka had told her, she didn't want to end up hurting Zuko's feelings even worse than she had before. And so, silently, and keeping her expression blank, she started to trace his features.

Zuko didn't move. Like a stone he let Toph do as she needed, even though the feel of her finger's against his face made him more uncomfortable than he'd anticipated. She traced her thumbs up along each side of his jaw. Then she moved her other four fingers up and against his brow line. One side greeted her with a smooth eyebrow, the other…with no eyebrow at all. In its place was a rough, thick, uneven type of texture than didn't even feel like skin.

Toph moved her fingers up, then higher still, until finally she found Zuko's hairline. Here, on the edge of his scar, she traced the edge of it where skin became leather back then back, than back still until it sunk into the place behind his ear. Toph could tell that there was more…that it wrapped around to the side of his head, but his hair had been able to grow back in over the tail end of it.

Toph's dread, like Zuko's, was rising in the pit of her stomach. Hearing about it from Sokka was one thing…but feeling it made it real for her. And Zuko's scar was far larger and far worse than she'd imagined.

Continuing down from his ear, she traced the bottom edge of it, getting its entire outline. She was shocked to find it go all the way down his left cheek, than all the way back up and to his nose. It was indeed…the entirety of the left side of his face as Sokka claimed.

Unable to stop now that she'd started, Toph had to know the rest of it. Outlined solidly in her mind, she filled in the middle. The scar was rough, mean, and full of grooves and ridges that didn't belong on someone's face. It felt almost as if it had been plastic that had melted and then rehardened. And she suddenly wondered…about the condition of Zuko's eye.

Sliding her fingers upward, she found Zuko was very still for her, even though she felt him shiver once, as she very carefully traced the places were eyelashes and eyelid should have been. These things were gone. Instead, Toph found Zuko's eye fixated in a solid, unmovable socket.

Toph almost groaned for him, but somehow suppressed it. Feeling the scar made it real. And it made it painful. It was no longer just something she was told about that she couldn't experience or understand. It was right here, beneath her fingertips. And it was horrific. Especially in comparison to the other side of Zuko's face.

The other side was smooth, warm, perfect. And with him being young, there wasn't a single wrinkle in it. At least…there were only wrinkles around his eyes where he worried. All the same, Toph could tell that Zuko had been born with dreadfully handsome features. He had a perfect nose, a strong chin, and cheekbones that rested just beneath what felt like slanted eyes. His eyebrow was furrowed…she suspected it was probably like that all the time, but even so…

She pulled her hands back then, almost as if she could feel the fire from the burn that had scarred him. Her illusions about saying that looks didn't matter had quite suddenly been shattered. For she knew that even if looks didn't matter to her…they did to everyone else around her. The entire rest of the world cared about these types of things, and she couldn't imagine what Zuko must have gone through growing up with only half a face.

Toph, having remained calm and cool and collected the entire time, suddenly felt her own face twist up. And within only a heartbeat, she'd taken in a quick, painful sounding gasp of air.

"Your father's a monster," she said, her voice low and husky in the way it was when she was truly upset about something. Zuko nodded.

"I know."

And there was something in the calm, understanding way that Zuko said those two words that suddenly made the reality of it all so much worse. In those two words alone, Zuko told her that there were plenty of other things he'd experienced from the evil man than just his scarring. And that idea terrified her.

Zuko kept his gaze fixated on Toph, and for a long moment, neither the firebender or the earthbender said anything. With one being blind and the other partially blind, there was much to be said in the silence. But then, the moment was over, and Toph spoke again.

"We'll get him Zuko," she said. "This isn't just about the world anymore, now it's about a friend."

It was only two sentences, but Toph's two sentences were filled with more caring than Zuko had ever received from his family members back at the Royal Palace. In fact, he was so touched that he hardly even knew how to respond.

"Toph…"

"Don't get mushy!" She quickly warned. "I heard it in just that one word! You were about to get all mushy on me! And I can't have that. I'm surrounded by air blowers and water sprites! You're the only other element around here that has any backbone! I need you to remain firm! Got it!"

Zuko, his face still clearly reflecting how happy her few simple words made him, smiled and nodded.

"Sure thing Toph. I'll help you keep everyone in line."

"Thank God you didn't apologize, back track, or stutter! I'm liking you more already. If we keep on Aang as a team, maybe we can shape his mushy airbender attitude into something solid before that comet arrives."

Zuko's smile grew, and even though he felt happier than he could ever remember being in a very long time, he suddenly felt like crying. He didn't dare. Not after Toph's speech about remaining tough.

"Come on you firecracker," she said, suddenly assigning Zuko a nickname. "Let's head back before Sokka starts to worry."


End file.
